I must be too annoying 4 u.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
