I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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