I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I need water and some morals
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
