I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
