i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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