guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
