did you get engaged???
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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