I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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