no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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