Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
