come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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