exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
