This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
