During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
