Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i don't like sucking hair
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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