I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My life is pants optional.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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