Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
