Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
