Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
