i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We have started to decorate penises.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize