I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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