of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
