i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
