I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I will pee on everything he values.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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