Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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