dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
