You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize