I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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