Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
