Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She's the barista slut.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
