Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
