Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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