Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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