return my video game
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
