We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
