Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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