I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
