Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
