It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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