I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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