boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
