reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
