so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
