Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
