My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
