Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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