is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
