Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
