quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
