I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize