ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
