They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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