watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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