Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
