Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
