Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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