oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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