great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
