Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
