i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
