I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
