doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
