he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
