physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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