Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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