OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
