im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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