How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
