and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
