is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
