Banned from zoo.
Again?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
