puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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